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I know in real life this isn’t true, but in social media life it seems to be the key to happiness is to accidentally get pregnant. Oops! Now I have a beautiful baby and a guy who is definitely stuck with me for life so he might as well give me a ring. Happily ever after! 

I guess we shall see how that plays out for everyone. 

Real Life: 0 Social Media FOMO: +500

How to Spot A Narcissist and Walk Away

When we study death we see how everything is dying and being reborn as something else, over and over, every day, everywhere, in all kingdoms, species, elements and forms. Nothing is wasted, everything has its purpose, all things are connected, and therefore eternal, in the vast circle of birth and death. When we understand this, we can let go of our crippling compulsion to hang on tight to who we think we are and what we think we need in order to survive. We can enjoy what is given with gusto, grieve what is lost with passion, and dwell with humor and faith in the vast, infinite mystery.

I am a small creature, looking at the smallest segment of a huge painting. Here, from our little corner of the canvas, how can we fathom the purpose in the design, the overarching message, or the end of the story?

I saw how resilient children are - how much better able they are than adults to accept and work with what is. They are interested in making the most of each moment, while we are trying to string the moments together into a preconceived picture of life. They’re alive in the moment, we’re stuck in normal.

The Holy Longing

Tell a wise person, or else keep silent,
because the mass man will mock it right away.
I praise what is truly alive,
what longs to be burned to death.

In the calm water of the love-nights,
where you were begotten, where you have begotten,
a strange feeling comes over you,
when you see the silent candle burning.

Now you are no longer caught in the obsession with darkness,
and a desire for higher love-making sweeps you upward.

Distance does not make you falter.
Now, arriving in magic, flying,
and finally, insane for the light,
you are the butterfly and you are gone.
And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth.

I also knew, in walking away from my Shaman Lover, that I would never again fall in love with such wild abandon and blind determination. I was terrified to give up a love that had saved me. But I knew further that what I had found with my Shaman Lover was mine to keep. Even if I never fell in love again, once would have been enough. Because once we have given ourselves to another, we are able to fall in love with life itself. And that can last forever.

I loved my Shaman Lover to the exclusion of the rest of my life. As I neglected everything else around me, my heart awakened and my body healed.

But after a while the secrecy began to take its toll. My Shaman Lover and I began to fight. The dark passion of our fighting was as new to me as the sweet passion of our loving. We yelled, we threw things, we slammed doors and wrote each other angry letters. Then we made up. Then we fought again. I felt as if I was living in a romance novel. Soon we were fighting more and more. We had trapped ourselves in an untenable situation, and I began to understand that this story would not have a happy ending.

He saw the end coming even before we started; I danced into the flames like a silly moth, drunk on the fire, drunk on the kiss. This was the kiss, and suddenly I wanted it with my whole life.

When I first laid eyes on him, I knew I was in the presence of something out of my control. My reasonable self told me to stay away from this man. I did the opposite.

I was drawn to him by a force stronger than any kind of will to turn away - as if his gravitational pull matched that of a planet.

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